While we were kept busy by the festival of endorsements of President Bola Tinubu’s yet-to-be-declared second term bid along with the flurry of bulletins from the coalition trying to unseat him in 2027, we might have missed the tantrums of Senator Onyekachi Nwaebonyi, the senator representing Ebonyi north. He also happens to be the deputy chief whip of the senate. Nwaebonyi is so disgusted by the sight of poor people living within the vicinity of the Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport, Abuja, that he moved a motion on the floor of the senate passionately proposing that the “eyesore” buildings be done away with because it was not good “for the image of Nigeria”. He looked sad and sickened.

To be fair to Nwaebonyi, those were not his exact words. Let me now reproduce his submission more accurately: “If you are descending into the airport, the type of infrastructure within the environs does not represent a good image of Nigeria, and I think that the FCT minister should capture that in his next budget to either relocate the habitats or renew the area, because the buildings in the community are the mirror of the country. As you descend into the Abuja airport, if you consider the view, you will agree with me that it is an eyesore and doesn’t give a good image of the nation. I urge all my colleagues to support this important bill that will transform the country.” And — mind you — he did not flinch!

Some of his colleagues actually thought he was trying to entertain them at the plenary but the senator let it be known that he was dead serious. Senate President Godswill Akpabio, who likes to make light of everything under the sun even when he is holding the gavel, did not really sound impressed. “Senator Nwaebonyi, which part of the airport?” Akpabio asked him. “If you’re coming from the airport, the first place you see on the right is the presidential wing, thereafter you will come across a very beautiful flyover. You’ll now descend towards the road that comes to the airport. When you get to the airport road, you’ll see a road completed with streetlights particularly in the night. Very beautiful.”

Nwaebonyi was not ready to take the bait or beat a retreat. He insisted he was referring to “shanties at the back of the Abuja airport”. Akpabio reminded him that the community “is some people’s village”, lecturing him that the image of the nation does not start from when your airplane is descending. “So, what happens in a place like Akwa Ibom… when you descend, you see water and creeks. So, we should eliminate the creeks in this case?” he asked, rather sarcastically. Akpabio, as obligated by senate rules, put the motion to a voice vote and the “nays” easily had it. But it was such an embarrassment that the conversation took place at all in the “hallowed” chambers of the National Assembly. It was a new low.

I initially hesitated to comment on Nwaebonyi’s antics after reading a well-articulated response by Mr Ugochimereze Chinedu Asuzu, a public affairs analyst, on social media. I believed he had adequately covered the ground with these powerful and poetic words: “And there, in one dismissive sentence, the senator reduced the lives of countless Nigerians to a mere blemish on his senatorial lens. To him, the humble homes around the airport are not evidence of government’s neglect but rather architectural embarrassments that should be hidden from foreign eyes. It’s a familiar trick of the powerful; beautify the road to the palace and forget the beggars by the gates.” What else can I say? What more can I add?

Trust the social media: pictures of what they said were taken of Nwaebonyi’s village soon started circulating. There were plenty eyesores: dilapidated huts and barefooted children and women fetching water from make-shift wells. I don’t believe everything I see on social media, but these damning images were not controverted. Even if they were, I would be surprised if his village is any better. I don’t know much about the history of the 43-year-old senator — whether or not he was born into affluence, and how he eventually made his money — but I would not be surprised if he also went to school barefooted as a kid. It is such a common story in our country that there is nothing strange about it.

But we would be making a big mistake to think Nwaebonyi is alone. He only displayed the mindset of a typical Nigerian “big man” who feels appalled at the sight of the poor. When they see beggars on the road, they are horrified. When they see shacks and shanties, they feel like throwing up. For them, this is an aesthetic embarrassment, an irritation. The lasting solution, as far as they can think, is to get rid of these eyesores. Fling the poor away from the public eye as far as possible so that they will not be seen in the city again. The regular Nigerian big man lacks the capacity, or the empathy, to see that poor people are a product of poverty, and that you cannot get rid of the poor until you address poverty.

Nwaebonyi is a typical “NwaGovernment” — the special breed of Nigerians who feed at the expense of the public treasury. Even their toothpick is paid for from the public purse. The moment they join government — either elected or appointed — and begin to enjoy the naira rain, their goggles become darkened. They begin to chase the less fortunate off the road with siren-booming 4WDs. Those who used to take night bus will now be flying in the sky, either commercial or private. All they can now see are rotten roofs. They cannot understand why such should exist, more so in the cities. As Ras Kimono sang, “See them flying ’pon the sky/While I and I walk ’pon the land/Still dem want I and I dead.”

The “NwaGovernment” class consists of people whom Chinua Achebe, the inimitable novelist and proverbist, reminded that “those whose kernels were cracked by benevolent spirit should not forget to be humble.” Humility is not their thing. They are gods. They cannot comprehend that fingers are not equal. They cannot understand that no human being wants to wear rags or live in shanties — just that their kernels have not been cracked by the benevolent spirit. With people like Nwaebonyi in power, the poor will not even be lucky to have kernels. They will be made to disappear from sight. That is why we demolish shanties without providing social housing or addressing the root cause of homelessness.

Nwaebonyi is also like those “NwaNigeria” who care more about how outsiders perceive them rather than who they really are. Many Nigerians love the outward appearance. They wear beautiful attires to parties but their houses are untidy. The senator was talking about a “good image of the nation”. Exactly. If those poor villagers can be relocated or their shanties whitewashed to look presentable to foreigners flying into Nigeria, Nwaebonyi, “NwaGovernment” and “NwaNigeria” will be greatly relieved and satisfied. It will attract the legendary foreign investors. The relocated people may continue to drink from the well and the whitewashed houses may continue to stink of penury. Problem solved.

My biggest worry, over which I have written a lot in the last few weeks, is the quality of thinking in government: in policymaking and lawmaking. Is this really the best Nigeria has to offer? I don’t know if the lack of rigour is getting worse or not, but every day I keep seeing evidence that we don’t know what we are doing. The Nwaebonyi misadventure is just a case in point. Same week, a bill was being considered by the house of reps to make voting compulsory for every eligible Nigerian. According to the promoters, this is because that is what is done in Australia. How much research goes into the preparation of these bills? How much critical thinking is applied before they are tabled for debate?

You would expect that the promoters of the bill would have taken the time to ask Nigerians why they register to vote but fail to turn up on the day. From even a random sampling, I discovered that many Nigerians find the entire process too tedious, too cumbersome and too time-consuming. This is to say nothing about the physical stress on the voting day, or the usual technological hitches, or the threat of violence under the watchful eyes of the security agencies. This is aside the fact that the votes may not count at the end of it all with the rigging and other forms of manipulation. But you know the solution? Just make a law, impose a six-month jail term and all the voters will rush to the polling units. Simple!

I can go on and on listing various policies and laws that are so poorly thought out, laws that mean nothing and achieve nothing. Someone says the best way to make a useless law is to make a law that cannot be enforced. We need more intelligent reasoning in government. Come to think of it, Nwaebonyi could have made a case for the beautification of the surroundings of the airports without using condescending words like “shanties” and “eyesore”.  But he is just like many lawmakers who propose bills or move motions or raise their hands to talk before thinking through. This is absolutely disturbing. Many lawmakers make things worse with the kind of ideas they promote. It is an “ear sore”.

AND FOUR OTHER THINGS…

MURDER IN IBADAN

Kehinde Alade, a teenager, was killed last week by a stray bullet in Ibadan, Oyo state. “Stray bullet” is not the right expression, as the policeman deliberately discharged the weapon to stop Kehinde’s father, Odunayo, from getting away with a traffic offence of driving against one way. Alade said he did not stop for the police because he didn’t want his twin sons to be late for WASSCE paper. Trying to justify the murder, Mr Adesagba Adekoya, chairman of the Oyo State Traffic Management Authority (OYRTMA), dug in, saying Alade was a “recalcitrant and obstinate traffic offender”. Please make me understand: is any traffic offence punishable by shooting or killing? In what world? Unbelievable.

ZANY ZULUM

Professor Babagana Zulum, governor of Borno state, amazes me at times. He does not behave like someone who understands that his public utterances as a leader must show some responsibility. Hear him: “The army does not have the necessary equipment on ground to fight the insurgency.” What is the public supposed to do with that information? Why can’t he tell the authorities directly? He even divulged security information to the media, saying: “A few days ago, I visited the chief of army staff. He said he is looking for about 32 drones and he would end the insurgency.” Ouch! Expect the usual suspects to rejoice at this statement and declare that “after all, he is only speaking the truth”. Careless.

IT’S ALL POLITICS

There has been a rash of endorsements of President Tinubu for a second term in office, although he has not officially told us he wants to run. In the midst of the excruciating economic pains affecting poor Nigerians as a result of necessary and inevitable reforms, the preoccupation of the political elite is the politics of 2027 — less than two years into a four-year term. They are in a maddening struggle to outdo one another in the endorsement contest, after leading opposition figures kicked off the game with the coalition threat. I have said this again and again: nothing excites Nigerians like politics. We were born to play politics. We derive our ultimate pleasure from political permutations and punditry. Priorities.

NO COMMENT

Mr Callistus Okafor, factional chairman of the Labour Party (LP), has poured more petrol to his party’s furnace by announcing his exit from the third force of 2023. “My own faction, we met, and we said that this is the time. I hereby announce to Nigerians, based on the decision as a team in the Labour Party, the five million Nigerians who are under my control, today pull out from LP to team WaZoBia Nigeria,” he said, adding: “Peter Obi, when he came to the party, he supported (Julius) Abure, who has become his archenemy today.” Wait, five million members? From where to where? I know freedom of speech is constitutionally guaranteed, but I don’t know about freedom to fabricate figures. Hahahaha.