He is one of those Arthur Brooks says belongs to  a demographic group that can best be described as unhappy. This is despite the fact that his generation has been described as living in an age of wealth, wellness and wonders created and sustained by contemporary science and technology. Arthur’s claim is grounded in his Harvard University backed findings. Asked if he agreed with the Harvard teacher’s presumably presumptuous claim, my young friend said that the man had a point. So, our conversation began.

“Well, yes my generation of young people can be described as a sad one. It is true that we are a highly connected generation, with science and tech at our Beck and call. We are the most connected virtually, but we are also probably the most fundamentally alone in our little corners and trying very hard to pretend that all is well. Genuine, face to face cheerful laughter is replaced with either an emoji face or “LOL”. So, Gen-Z’s can be said to have created unreal alternative comrades in their play and laughter”.

He paused, then said he had been following a lot of literature on Gen-Z issues and has also been monitoring what he called “the really human content” of his generation’s socialization templates and practices. “I find it worrisome”, he muttered quietly. Then he referred to the Global Flourishing Study, a research project that collected data from more than 200,000 people across 22 different countries. He said that he agreed with the findings, especially the submission that inner loneliness, a lack of purpose and a deep sense of hopelessness outside digital reality are the constant companions of many Gen-Z’s.

The United States has been one of the countries where young people’s well-being has declined the most in recent decades, according to the World Happiness Report. Not because life has suddenly become harder out there, but because you have a digitally well-connected world of young people who are also victims of emotional barrenness at the same time. They try to hide this, even from themselves, without knowing it. By forming relationships that are actually more vacuous than smoke, they try to reassure themselves that all is well.

But all is not well. “What does it mean, for instance, to say that someone has ten thousand followers on Facebook, Instagram, etc.?” I asked him. “Yes, what does it mean?” I continued. “And where is the fellow in question going to that they are following him? Yet, the person with more following is deemed superior, deemed more important and seen as someone to be envied by those with fewer followers. Is this not altogether absurd?”.

He smiled and agreed that it was really absurd. Then he said: “To think that someone would envy a person whose superiority is solidly established by a meaningless number?” He laughed.

Then I added: “People will just be strutting about talking of “likes” and “followers”, without pausing to note that some of the followers under reference may be mentally unstable, idlers who are always on their back in some dingy, unswept space fiddling endlessly with their phones”.

“That is why I sometimes wonder if technology has failed the Gen-Z’s”. Then a quipped again: “Could it be that the problem is not technology itself, but the progressive disappearance of real human interactions, as well as its replacement by digital alternatives, which are profoundly inadequate at the end of the day?”

 “Maybe”, I said. They still have physical and emotional exchanges. But please note that “Tell me about it”, and “Trending” things, general gossip and anything that shines for a moment dominate today’s social intercourse. The world is now more of “Fast-Food” generation in  everything, wherein instant pleasures and immediate gratification come first. And it is often all ephemeral and anchored on nothing lasting”.

“Yes, we do not just want things, many things, but we want them here and now”, he said. “We are largely consumption-driven. We create media content, not out of a desire to spread enlightenment, drive any lasting purpose or achieve any clear results beyond making people laugh, or display something shocking or outrageous. We scurry from one distraction to another, in search of something more exciting”.

“And that is how days, weeks and months fly by”, I said. A job becomes boring after a few months, because it doesn’t create the opportunity for “making impact”. It’s as if life should be one “wow” after another, and it is not just tiring, but wearying. Sad.

My young friend was quiet for quite some time before saying: “My generation can be described as more materially comfortable and more harassed. Look at startups, Fin tech, the epidemic of young entrepreneurs and much more. But it is all richer, emptier, less indicative of wisdom. We are a very opinionated lot”. Then he fell silent again.

Anon, he continued: “Do you know that one of the very interesting discoveries of the Harvard study mentioned earlier is that more Gen-Z’s are suffering from a sense of purposelessness? I replied: “It has always been a strongly held view amongst members of my generation, that money cannot buy happiness”. He made to speak, and then kept quiet again.

Finally he said: “We feel more empty than most of you older folks. I see my peers anchoring everything they say on quotations from one motivational speaker or the other. They are all talking about leadership and influencing others. Meanwhile, a motivational speak is not God. Why should his personal opinion be taken as Ultimate Truth, why? Most religious leaders are simply glorified liars and crooks, as far as some of us are concerned”.

It was my turn to be silent and say nothing. The young man spoke from the depth of his soul, and was most probably also trying to further digest his own statement. “Did the book you mentioned not say anything about the way out for Gen-Z’s?” I asked.

“It speaks of three things one can do”, he replied. The first is to do everything possible to have real relationships that involve face to face exchanges, play and real laughter. He also suggested that Gen-Z’s should cultivate their inner life, seek some form of spirituality and look for meaning beyond everyday events”.

The existential nightmare of being lonely in the midst of a happy crowd is the issue here. What can Gen-Z’s, and the rest of us by the way, do about the occasional inexplicable emptiness; of desire to return to genuine friendships, to simplicity, to the ability to play and laugh honestly?

This generation of roughly those born between 1997 and 2012, is immersed in a complex mix of very dynamic social, economic, technological, and cultural influences. Information and technology, overload, constant self-vaporization and comparison with others, the pressure to trying to create a wonderful online life that only exists online, with photoshopped images and curated narratives.

Depression and confusion abound everywhere, with the older generation being more judgmental than understanding towards Gen-Z’s. They need help, but are not getting it from an equally confounded older generation. So, they turn to online Apps on how to settle a quarrel, how to think and even what to think. And that makes it worse, as they download and deploy whatever bunkum anyone puts out there as sure knowledge.

Gen-Z’s walked into a budding world of smartphones, social media, digital convergence, and endless connection and entertainment; requiring them to be perpetually “on”, in order not to miss anything. This fact alone is a major misfortune for any human being. Platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat often highlight the best moments of people’s lives, leading to unrealistic standards, the desire to out-fake other people’s fake reality, in an endless/pointless competition that only fuels feelings of inadequacy in some people.

Are there Gen-Z’s who are cheerful victims of sleep denial and unconscious patients of Disrupted Sleep and a dwindling Attention Span? Their excessive screen time, particularly at night, affects sleep quality, impairs concentration, induces internal restlessness and contributes to mental fatigue and the desire for “something exciting” when awake.

In the end, many are battling with Identity Struggles. Experimenting with drugs and insane adventures is part of the consequences. Those who zoom off to explore complex identity issues around gender, sexuality, race and much more are all victims of the same malaise. The adventures and exploration accentuates their vulnerability, throws them into the clutches of internet and social media highwaymen who boldly offer their conjectures and unverified opinions as knowledge.

Some Gen-Z’s go into activism and soon suffer Activism Fatigue. Many of them quickly burnout and develop an even greater sense of hopelessness. Being also among the first to hunt for, and get, information on Global Crises, like wars, refugee crises, climate issues and threats to democracy, they have everything needed to maintain the illusion of involvement. Nearly every single one of them will be only satisfied with being the best, getting the first position, being number one. This, the Pressure to Excel, and the search for Credential Inflation, take over from rationality. And because they lack any Clear Paths before them, inner fragmentation and non-linear paths create illusory worlds, which can be exciting – but only because they only exists in the imagination.

We concluded our conversation, the Gen-Z and me, by quietly agreeing that we are all in a uniquely challenging era. The digital saturation, global instability, economic pressure, and a heightened awareness of systemic problems are symptoms of  a much deeper crisis of humanity. Yes, a lot of Gen-Z’s are quite creative, resilient, informed, and socially engaged. They are not simply crumbling before every pressure, no! They are actively struggling, adapting, resisting, and even leading in some ways.

Hear the last words of my Gen-Z friend at the end of our conversation: “You know ” we” don’t give up. I won’t go down. If I must, oh you can be sure that I will go down fighting -and it would be one hell of a fight.

Yes, they won’t go down at all. They shouldn’t go down. They need help, guidance, discipline and humility.