AFOLABI

AFOLABI

The National Youth Service Corps has advised members of the 2024 Batch B Stream I, who have just concluded their service year, to focus on wealth creation.

NYSC Coordinator in Rivers State, Mr Moses Oleghe, gave the charge on Tuesday during the passing-out ceremony of corps members held in Port Harcourt, the state capital.

He reminded the corps members of the core values instilled in them throughout their service year and encouraged them to become agents of positive change in society.

Oleghe discouraged the pursuit of white-collar jobs as the sole path to success, urging the corps members to embrace entrepreneurship and self-reliance.

 

“Creativity, hard work, discipline, focus, determination, and dedication are the ingredients needed to achieve your aspirations.

 

“Rather than wait for white-collar jobs, outgoing corps members should channel their energy into establishing businesses and creating wealth with their own hands,” he advised.

Presenting service statistics, Oleghe disclosed that a total of 2,302 corps members had successfully completed their service year in Rivers.

 

He noted that regrettably, two corps members died during active service, while 17, comprising seven males and 10 females, had their service extended.

Additionally, the NYSC coordinator reported that two corps members were granted pardon, while 23 others – 13 males and 10 females – absconded from service.

NAN

Mark Zuckerberg’s fortune surged by $8 billion on Monday, June 2, 2025, after shares of Meta Platforms Inc. jumped nearly 4%, driven by investor optimism surrounding the company’s growing focus on artificial intelligence. 

Meta’s stock climbed $23.41 to close at $670.90, significantly outperforming the broader S&P 500 index, which rose by just 0.4%. The rally pushed Zuckerberg’s real-time net worth to $231.6 billion, according to Forbes, making him the second-richest person in the world as of Tuesday morning. 

The stock surge followed a Wall Street Journal report indicating that Meta is preparing to launch a comprehensive suite of AI tools tailored for advertisers. According to sources cited in the article, these tools would enable businesses to generate complete ad campaigns, including creative content and targeted audience strategies, entirely through AI. The rollout is expected as early as 2026, though Meta has not yet confirmed the plans. 

Currently, Meta uses AI in limited advertising applications, but the reported expansion signals a major leap in the company’s efforts to modernise its ad-driven revenue model. With most of Meta’s income coming from digital advertising, the new tools could give it an edge in the competitive landscape dominated by platforms like TikTok and YouTube. 

Investor excitement around AI has been a key driver of tech stocks over the past year. Meta’s pivot toward AI places it alongside tech giants like Alphabet and Microsoft, which are aggressively integrating generative AI into their ecosystems.

 

Zuckerberg, 40, co-founded Facebook in 2004 while studying at Harvard. The company went public in 2012 and rebranded as Meta in 2021 to reflect its ambitious bet on the metaverse—a virtual reality-powered space that has yet to yield significant commercial success. In recent months, however, Meta appears to have shifted its attention toward AI, which investors see as a more immediate and practical growth engine. 

The strategic timing of this shift comes amid slowing digital ad growth and increasing privacy restrictions that have weakened traditional ad tracking. AI-powered content generation, microtargeting, and automation promise to restore some of that lost precision. 

Zuckerberg owns roughly 13% of Meta’s shares and retains controlling voting power through a dual-class share structure. In 2015, he and his wife, Priscilla Chan, pledged to donate 99% of their Meta shares over their lifetime via the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative. 

Despite ongoing regulatory scrutiny and criticism regarding content moderation and data privacy, Meta remains a dominant player in global social media, with Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp serving billions of users worldwide.

The Nigerian Communications Commission (NCC) has mandated deposit money banks (DMBs) to cease deducting unstructured supplementary service data (USSD) charges directly from customers’ bank accounts, with the fees now to be deducted from users’ mobile airtime.

 

The new directive, which took effect on June 3, 2025, was communicated to customers by the United Bank for Africa (UBA) in an email on Tuesday, June 3. The change aligns with the NCC’s End-User Billing (EUB) model, which shifts responsibility for USSD transaction charges from banks to mobile network operators (MNOs). 

“In line with the directive of the Nigerian Communications Commission (NCC), please be informed that effective June 3, 2025, charges for USSD banking services will no longer be deducted from your bank account,” the statement from UBA read. 

“Going forward, these charges will be deducted directly from your mobile airtime balance in accordance with the NCC’s End-User Billing (EUB) model.” 

Under this structure, each USSD session will attract a fee of ₦6.98 per 120 seconds, billed by the mobile network operator. Customers will receive a prompt at the beginning of each session requesting their consent, and charges will only apply if they confirm and if the bank is able to process the request. 

The bank noted that customers who do not wish to continue using the USSD platform under the new model may opt to discontinue its use, while other digital and internet banking options remain available.

 

This move by the NCC appears to be part of ongoing efforts to resolve the long-standing USSD debt crisis between mobile operators and commercial banks. In December 2024, the NCC and the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) had jointly urged both parties to settle a ₦250 billion debt related to USSD services. 

Tensions had escalated in early 2025, with telecom companies threatening to suspend USSD services due to non-payment. The NCC responded in January by ordering the disconnection of USSD codes assigned to nine banks over unpaid debts. Subsequently, MTN Nigeria confirmed in February that it received ₦32 billion out of the ₦72 billion owed by banks. 

The latest directive signals the regulator’s commitment to ensuring a sustainable framework for USSD service delivery, while promoting transparency and reducing disputes between financial institutions and telecom providers

Senator Shehu Sani has strongly criticised the ex-governor of Kaduna State, Nasir El-Rufai, and former Minister of Transportation, Rotimi Amaechi, over their recent comments blaming President Bola Tinubu’s administration for the country’s worsening poverty and hunger.

Speaking to journalists in Kaduna, Sani accused both men of hypocrisy, calling them key contributors to the very problems they now condemn. He described them as architects of banditry and hunger, who failed to address the same issues during their years in government.

 

“Both El-Rufai and Amaechi have no moral ground to criticise the current administration, as they failed to address the same challenges during their time in power,” he said. 

“El-Rufai and Amaechi should bow their heads in shame. They are the architects of the banditry, poverty, and hunger they now pretend to lament. During their tenure, they did nothing to solve these issues, and now they cry foul simply because they have been left out of the current government.”

His comments followed El-Rufai’s remarks at Amaechi’s 60th birthday lecture in Abuja, where the former governor described Nigeria as being controlled by “urban bandits” and warned that the country is facing one of its worst crises since 1914. El-Rufai also urged Nigerians to elect competent and visionary leaders in future elections.

Sani, however, dismissed the criticism as politically motivated and rooted in bitterness over exclusion from Tinubu’s cabinet.

He maintained that there was nothing wrong with criticising the government, “but when such criticism stems from personal disappointment over missed appointments rather than genuine concern for the people, it becomes dangerous.”

The former Kaduna Central Senator accused several key figures from the Muhammadu Buhari administration, including El-Rufai and Amaechi, of trying to undermine the current government after losing influence.

“These individuals controlled the affairs of the country for eight years. They had the power, the resources, and the influence to transform the North into a socio-economic model for the rest of the country. Instead, they left it in a worse condition,” he said.

Sani acknowledged ongoing security challenges in parts of the north, such as Katsina and Zamfara, but credited the current administration with making some progress. 

“Today, people can travel the Birnin Gwari road, which was once a death trap due to incessant bandit attacks. The southern part of Kaduna, once abandoned, is now relatively peaceful thanks to the efforts of the current Chief of Defence (Staff),” he noted.

While urging President Tinubu to do more to address the region’s challenges, he also called for openness to constructive criticism but warned against politically motivated attacks disguised as concern for the people.

The Federal Government has began payment of N44,000 minimum wage arrears.
 
The arrears will be paid to former members of the National Youth Service Corps, NYSC, according to a report by NAN.
 
The commencement of the payment fulfills an earlier promise tied to the recent upward review of corps members’ monthly allowance from N33, 000 to N77, 000.
 
The payment applies to those who completed their service before the new allowance took effect earlier this year.
 
Former corps members have taken to X (formerly Twitter) to confirm receipt of the payment, expressing their gratitude and relief.
 
One user, @Kingpin_black1, posted: ”Thank you NYSC. Thank you President Tinubu. Nigeria will be great again.”
 
Another user @pharmacist_shezzy shared: ”44k don land. NYSC no carry last. God bless Nigeria ”
 
Similarly, @ifeoluwa_X wrote: ”Just got my alert. I almost deleted my NYSC account. Thank you FG.”
 
The payment, widely seen as a fulfillment of the government’s earlier pledge, has sparked excitement online, with many praising the move as a sign of renewed trust and accountability.

In a major operation against smugglers, the Federal Operations Unit of the Nigeria Customs Service (NCS) intercepted smuggled ballistic helmets, bulletproof vests, and other prohibited goods valued at over N1.5 billion within the last two weeks just as seven suspects were arrested in connection with the trade infraction. 

Speaking to newsmen yesterday in Lagos, the Comptroller of the Unit, Mr. Mohammed Shuaibu, attributed the success to the collaboration between the Customs Service and other sister agencies who shared vital intelligence. 

Shuaibu also disclosed that On the 23rd and 24th of May 2025, at about 0300hrs and 0230hrs, it’s Unit patrol teams within Lagos metropolis acting on intelligence intercepted and seized 2X40FT containers with containers numbers (MSCU 5295718 and MRSU 5856090) respectively along Ijora-Olopa, and mile 2 axis.

Upon examination reports of these containers, it was revealed that. Seven Mitsubishi Canters, Five Toyota Hiace Buses, and Three Mini Shuttle Buses all cut up with their parts complete with clear intention of evading Customs duties.

Other items include used bicycles, 312, Bales of printed wax, 23 Bales of used clothing, 42 used gas cylinders, and 30 used flat screens televisions, 65 table top cookers, and 31 units of used split air conditioning and among others.

He stated that the renewed vigor to fight smuggling and criminalities through intelligence-driven operations has continued to payoff as the resilience and dedication of our operatives has inflicted substantial losses on some economic saboteurs who are bent on bringing our country to its knees through their nefarious activities.

He explained that the importation of these items contravenes schedule 4 of the common external tariff.

He said: “Similarly, on the19th of May 2025 at about 0300hrs hours another patrol team intercepted a Volvo truck and investigation revealed 1263 pieces of used tyres and other goods. One suspect was also arrested.

“In the same vein, on the 19th of May 2025 at about 2300hrs, our officers on a routine patrol along Shagamu/Ijebu-Ode express way in Ogun State, intercepted one truck with registration number T24623LA suspected to be conveying uncustoms goods including Bullet Proof vests. Again, an investigation report revealed the content to include some packages of Tramadol.

 

“Furthermore, on the 26th of May 2025, at about 0600hrs, through intelligence-driven operations, our men on the Ijebu-Ode patrol team arrested one empty Mercedes Benz truck. Thorough rummaging of the truck and careful observation by our officers which led to uncover concealment of Cannabis Sativa (India Hemp) in the compartments of the truck. One suspect was arrested in connection with the seizure.

“Additionally, our patrol teams around the borders areas across the six (6) states of the Southwest have intensified surveillance of our borders against unscrupulous elements among Nigerians, resulting in several seizures of rice, Cannabis Sativa, used cars and other goods in a flash points of Imeko, Ilaro, Owode, Idiroko , Ilara, Ihumbo,Abeokuta, Badagry, Agbara, Gbaji, shaki and Iseyin in Oyo state.

“In all, Forty- Six (46) interceptions were recorded during this two (2) weeks of operations and the seizures include
Rice 2,051 of 50kg of foreign parboiled rice equivalent to three (4) trailer loads.

Eleven (11) used vehicles, popularly known as tokumbo vehicles, 1, 665kg of Cannabis Sativa, 4, 000 litres of premium motor spirit. (PMS)

Others are One white and Black J5 commercial Bus loaded with expired goods, one Volvo Truck containing 180 sacks of new towel. 

“Seven (7) suspects were arrested in connection with the various seizures, which have a duty paid value (DPV) of one billion, two hundred and eighty-five million, six hundred thousand, three hundred and eighty-three naira (N1,285, 600,383.00) only.

“These seizures come on the heels of successes recorded in our anti-smuggling activities just three (3) weeks after I resume the leadership of the unit on the 23rd of April 2025, which saw seizures of over 7 trailer loads of foreign parboiled rice, premium motor spirit, vehicles, drugs and narcotics among others with a duty paid value of over 1.5 billion naira.

“The Nigeria Customs Service as a lead agency in border security and facilitators of trade, we are not unaware of the need to balance both responsibilities through risk management tools at our disposal. We are also aware that those whose illicit businesses have been significantly hindered by our operations will spare no efforts in devising different methods to counter us.

“As criminals get more desperate and daring, we at the Federal Operations Unit Zone ‘A’ will ensure the sustainability of a more formidable defense against any antics devised by these non-state actors. The Nigeria Customs Service will continue to design and implement sustainable programs that will grow our economy, increase revenue for the government, and encourage legitimate trade.

“The seized 1665kg of Indian hemp and will be handed over to the relevant agencies for further investigation and prosecution. 

The unit continued to block all revenue components under the unit to recover loss revenue from the evaders. Within these two (2) weeks of operations, the unit recovered a total of N48,3millio through issuance of demand notices (DN) from the improper declaration of consignments.”

Fuji icon Wasiu Ayinde aka KWAM 1 or K1 De Ultimate has made a revelation about his mother.
 
The singer revealed that his late mother, Halima Anifowoshe wanted to be a musician, but ended up playing a significant role in his musical career.
 
According to him, his mother taught him the rudiments of music and served as his composer during her lifetime.
 
Speaking during the podcast show for his latest project, Ganusi The Album Fuji Classical, K1 De Ultimate explained that his mother’s contributions to his career success made him dedicate the song “Mama” from the album to her.
 
He stated that his mother wanted to be a musician as a young maiden but was prevented because of her royal background and for being a woman.
 
He said, “The song ‘Mama’ is to the memory of my mother who also taught me about the rudiments of music and singing. My mother as a young maiden lady was a singer, a princess by birth that was denied the opportunity of showing dexterity in music because of what she was; a princess of a sitting king and so also a woman whom they want her to settle in marriage.
 
“But everything [my mother’s talent] was transported on me by God. She transferred it to me and oftentimes she served as my composer, very many times during her lifetime. She made her own contribution into my musical development. So, I think it’s honourable for me to remember her and have a blessed track for her.”
 
K1 De Ultimate lost his mother, Princess Halima Anifowoshe, in January 2025.
 
 
Lagos-based clergyman, Paul Adefarasin has celebrated 30th wedding anniversary with his wife, Ifeanyi.
 
Recall that the couple are celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary today, June 3. 
 
The couple got married in 1995 and have three children. In a post shared on social media today, Pastor Paul celebrated Ifeanyi for being his ‘’companion in marriage, the wife of my youth and my partner at life''.
 
He went on to thank her for being his ‘’helpmeet through the turns and the transitions''
 
He wrote
 
‘’Dear Ifeanyi,
 
To the world, success is often measured by prominence, ease, and tangible outcomes—the visible fruits of ambition, relentless effort, and societal recognition.
 
Yet in the counsel of God, success takes on an altogether different form. It is the quiet becoming of all He designed you to be, the faithful execution of a divine mandate stewarded with integrity, humility, and a heart yielded to His will. It is not so much about what is outwardly accomplished, but who one is inwardly is becoming in alignment with His eternal purpose.
 
Within that sacred context, success as God defines it is a rare and priceless gift to walk life’s journey intimately  with a few true hearts who are deeply committed to you, who stand with you and lend strength to the God-ordained causes entrusted to your care. They are real disciples of Christ. These are the ones who labour with you in your service to the God you honour, the people you shepherd, and the generational destiny divinely assigned to you and your house.
 
‘*..Through many dangers, toils and snares, we have already come. Twas grace that brought us safe thus far…”* And so, to the faithful warriors who have shared the trenches with us, who have stood shoulder to shoulder through the battles of life and the crucible of calling, I extend my heartfelt gratitude.
 
Of notable mention is my fellow soldier and long standing co-parent, companion in marriage, the wife of my youth and my partner at life; dear Ifeanyi,  thank you for being helpmeet through the turns and the transitions. Thank you for walking this long road with steadiness and faith, for standing through the 30 years and for remaining present through each unfolding season.
 
Happy 30th anniversary to you Still Waters.
 
With love,
 
‘Deolu"
 
Tuesday, 03 June 2025 17:24

JUSUN suspends strike

The Judiciary Staff Union of Nigeria (JUSUN) on Tuesday suspended its strike, which started on Monday.

JUSUN announced the suspension in a communiqué issued after it met with the representatives of the Chief Judge of Nigeria (CJN), Justice Kudirat Kekere-Ekun. 

The communique signed by all shareholders present, said this was after long deliberations on issues that led to the declaration of the industrial action by the union. 

 

According to the communique, the following agreement was reached; that the JUSUN oblige the intervention of CJN, Minister of Labour and Employment, Muhammad Dingyadi, NLC and other Stakeholders one month for negotiations.

”Engage the Federal Government to release funds to the Judiciary within one month, and that upon the release of the funds, the demands by the JUSUN be implemented immediately.”

The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that JUSUN’s demands include the implementation of the N70, 000 new minimum wage and its arrears, 25’35 per cent salary increase and five months wage award and their arrears.

The communique added that consequently upon the commitment of the CJN, JUSUN and organs after due consideration agreed to suspend the ongoing industrial strike action.

The union therefore, directed its members to resume work on Wednesday.

“Omo, how you dey?”

“I dey my dey oh. What’s up?”

“How you take see this Baba Tinubu’s mid-term score card”?  

“My problem is that President Tinubu is in Lagos and we suffered for about two days. Traffic hold-up. I spent three hours in the traffic for about two days, back-to-back within the island axis. I did not like that.”

“But they have since corrected that. It is not President Tinubu’s fault. Blame the over-enthusiastic security personnel who should be cautioned.”

“Do you know that the President was scheduled to come to Lagos on Tuesday last week. By Monday evening, they had locked up the road to Bourdillon and Oyinkan Abayomi. The following morning, nobody could even move. And when the President was going to the Nigerian l Institute for International Affairs (NIIA) for ECOWAS at 50, they had locked up the roads even when the President was still in bed. Completely inconsiderate protocol people. Sycophancy is the main problem in this country. Whoever was in charge of Presidential movement during that moment must be queried.” 

“Easy. Take it easy. After all the complaints, have they not amended things? They have. You can’t blame the President for what officials do. Leadership in itself is a learning process.”

“Ileya, Eid el Kabir festival is a few days from now. I don’t want to hear that the President is going to the mosque and other people are stopped from exercising their own rights. After all, this is Lagos. President Tinubu is the father of Lagos politics in modern, contemporary times. If he must feel free anywhere, it must be in Lagos. His own land and territory. What is the security level alert? Why would he come into Lagos and his personal security would become such a big issue? He should be at home in his own state and space?”  

“In politics, you do not take anything for granted. Politics is like Boys Scouts. You must always be prepared. In security matters, you do not leave anything to chance. Is it not in this same Lagos that the Obidients took over in the last general elections and Peter Obi of the Labour Party got a better percentage over and above Tinubu? From that moment in 2023, President Tinubu has had to watch over his shoulders whenever he is in Lagos. The best thing for a politician is to be in control of his own home base.”

“That was 2023. We are in 2025. He was a candidate then. He is now President. Level don change.”.

“The Obidients have not kept quiet. They still behave as if they own Lagos.” 

“They don’t own Lagos. Oh, wait a moment. So, is that why President Tinubu lost Lagos during the Presidential election in 2023? I see. Every political leader must have his home base under his control. You can’t be President of Nigeria and you can’t even win in your own backyard? It happened to President Olusegun Obasanjo in 1999. It also happened to President Tinubu in 2023. Every Nigerian President must start charity from his own base, otherwise that is a bad comment on his politics.”

“The sad story is that Lagos has an APC Governor in the person of Governor Babajide Sanwoolu. Lagos is an APC state.”

“Yes. Yes. But in 2023 in Lagos State, Sanwoolu won. Tinubu lost during the Presidential election. By what alchemy did the godson win, and the godfather lost? Think about it. It is an unforgettable offence in Nigerian politics. The Godfather must always look good. He cannot be allowed to look bad under your watch! Simple political logic. Not even US President Donald Trump would tolerate that.”  

“So, is that why President Tinubu refused to shake Governor Sanwoolu’s hands at the commissioning of the phase one, 30 kilometres stretch of the Lagos-Calabar Coastal Highway? The Lagos state Governor was openly humiliated. I even heard that when it came to the time for one of the Governors to make a speech, the President called on Governor Dapo Abiodun to speak. Ogun State Governor oh? To speak on a project in Lagos state, even when the Lagos State Governor was physically present. That was the height of snobbery.” 

“Governor Dapo Abiodun could have refused. He could have asked the President to call on the Governor of Lagos to speak.”

“I don’t know for you. You want Ogun Governor to overrule the President of Nigeria at a public event? Hello oh. Where are you from?” 

“Are we under a garrison command? If I was the one in that position, I would have said sir, I think the function belongs to the Lagos State Governor, afterall, the project is in Lagos state, not Ogun. and more specifically, Sanwoolu is the host-Governor.”  

“Wow. What a clever man! You are an intelligent man but you are not wise. My conclusion is that Governor Dapo Abiodun is wise and intelligent and you are a dumb person. The Governor of Ogun State has just turned 65 years old. He is obviously a much wiser person than your type. As for Baba Tinubu and his son, Sanwoolu, leave them alone. They will resolve their family matter at the right time.”

“I don’t even know what they are commissioning. Thirty kilometres out of 750 kilometres?  

“I actually read a story in ThisDay newspaper which quotes one NGO, NEFGAD I think, saying that the commissioning is misleading and premature, and that presenting a fraction of the whole misrepresents the scope of the work, and undermines the public.”

“NGO? I beg. Leave these NGOs out of it.  Who be NEFGAD? Who dey there? What do they know?”

“But look at their logic”

“Which logic? Dem dey craze”

“They have the right to talk. I hear that the 30 km is not even ready. The question to ask is: why the rush? It is not right to commission an uncompleted project. 30 kilometres out of 750 kilometres is just about 4% or less. Do your calculations.”

“Leave matter. Baba don commission. He don commission be dat. Are you saying you are wiser or by any stretch smarter than the Jagaban himself?” 

“I am not saying anything. I am just raising simple questions”

“Keep your questions to yourself. Baba knows what he is doing. The Jagaban! Asiwaju himself. Owner of the game.”

“This is precisely what we are talking about. You people are so sycophantic, nobody is allowed to ask the President any questions. This is Nigeria, not Gaddafi’s Libya. We, the people, must be allowed to talk.” 

“Who is gagging you? But talk sense, and don’t ask stupid questions?”

“I want to know for example, why was the Lagos-Calabar Coastal highway awarded to the Chagourys, Lebanese people coming to Nigeria to build a conglomerate. Why not a Nigerian company?” 

“You see? The Chagourys for your information are actually Nigerians. They are older than you in this country. They were born and bred here, and they have as much right as you do. Any other thing?”

“Is Tinubu part of the Chagoury group? Is he part of the people constructing the road? Is this a case of conflict of interest?”

“Go and ask him”

“Let his advisers organize a media chat and invite me. I will ask him” 

“Which media chat?”

“The President owes us explanations on every subject. It is our money.” 

“Which money? Do you even pay tax? Your money. Your money. Is it your money that the Nigerian government is spending?”

“Yes. It is our money.” 

 “My friend, go and sit down. You don’t need Tinubu, the President of the Federal Republic to come and be explaining this and that to you. He has Ministers who are doing the job. And they have been busy giving account, especially on this occasion of the President’s mid-term in office.”

 “I voted for Tinubu, not the Ministers. I do not know them.”

“That is a pity. It means you are not a good citizen. You are supposed to know the people who govern Nigeria. The Constitution allows the President to delegate his authority. He alone cannot run Nigeria. Only yesterday, Nyesom Wike, Minister of the Federal Capital Territory granted a two-hour interview. Did you see that? Did you listen?” 

“No. I did not. I switched off.”

“Then you and people like you are the problem. You want accountability, but you don’t even have enough discipline to listen”

“I don’t want to listen to Wike. He spews a lot of bunkum.”

“Excuse me?” 

“You heard what I said. Why should I listen to him?”

“He is a servant of the Nigerian people, and his job is to report to us.”

“He likes to sound as if he is the alternate President of Nigeria. I have no patience for that.” 

“And so?  He is useful to the man that appointed him. He is helping Tinubu to fight people in the People’s Democratic Party. Every President needs at least one attack dog. Yesterday, Wike said for example that former Minster, former Governor Rotimi Amaechi is a hungry, and pompous liar, for attacking the President. He gave him such a beautiful 60thbirthday package! Then he added that he, Wike will lead President Tinubu’s campaign in 2027.” 

“Oh God. Oh God. You are just an impossible fellow. You don’t know Nigeria. You have no idea what politics is all about. Can we talk about something else, p-le-a-se? Look at the 22 athletes who died on their way back from Ogun State after the 22nd National Sports Festival. They went to represent their state. They died in a road accident when they got back home. It is sad. It is unfortunate. It hurts. Nigeria happened to them.”

“It is not Nigeria. The Federal Road Safety Commission (FRSC) has concluded that this was a case of over-speeding. The relevant authorities behind the vehicles on our roads must insist on safe driving.”

“The roads are bad” 

“Yes. But the FRSC in this case is talking about over-speeding, and the need for discipline.”

“Twenty-two lives lost and the government is offering one million naira each to the affected families.  They could have spent less than that amount to buy flight tickets for the Kano State contingent and get them back to Kano in less than three hours. But the poor souls had to travel from Ogun State to Kano by road. And now they offer the families of the deceased N1 million”

“The Kano State Government paid the hospital bills. They have also offered to employ a member of every affected family.”

“Stop defending nonsense. Those persons could have been alive if Nigeria did not happen to them. And where is the Governor?”

“Nigeria happens to all of us. The Governor is in Saudi Arabia on hajj” 

“Hajj. Hajj. Governor away on hajj. And he is still there. And you are still alive to defend every possible misconduct”

“I only try to be fair and balanced.” 

“Mr. Balanciaga, well done.  You hear me? I say una do well. One of these days, I won’t be surprised if they give you a job to come and help with your balancing work. I know you people. Do you want me to name staunch critics of President Tinubu who are now eating from his palms, and they will say anything to explain that they have finally seen the light and they were blind before now? The crisis that hunger has caused in this country has no measure. Ebi n pa wa is the right metaphor for the collapse of dignity, pride, values and the entire middle class.”

“Man must eat.”

“Man must eat with sense. Too many persons in this country eat without sense. They don’t believe in anything. Sorry I correct that. They worship only the sovereignty of their stomach.”

“Still I do not see anything wrong in that. Most people are not footballers who have to run up and down to eat, and struggle for the ball. We are not all made the same way. Some people eat by running helter-skelter, some are leeches, some by talking, some people get their daily bread by lying and stealing. And yet we are all God’s children.”  

“Footballers! Those ones work hard. PSG just won the UEFA Champions League. What a complete team! What a marvelous team of young talents that Luis Enrique has put together. I say: Congratulations.” 

“This has serious implications.” 

“The only clear implication I see is that a PSG player will win the Ballon D’or on October 27. Ousmane Dembele.” 

“You never know. There are other contenders. Barcelona’s duo of Lamine Yamal and Raphinha. PSG’s Desire Doue, Desired. Gifted. And Donnarumma.”

“Ousmane Dembele. My pick”.

“Okay. Okay. But let’s celebrate our own people too. Ademola Lookman who came home to present his CAF Footballer of the Year 2024 award to the President. We are proud of him. He is a worthy ambassador. God bless him.”

“Eric Chelle too, our Franco Malian coach. He won his first trophy as a coach, the Unity Cup, as a coach of the Super Eagles.” 

“Good, Good. But I will join you to celebrate him only when he takes the Super Eagles to the 2026 World Cup. I reserve my praise.”

“Well. Ok. Well.”