He was the lord of his manor. Whatever he said was law. His children feared him.  His wife trembled at his feet. He was a god in his private shrine and decreed that he be accorded the appropriate worship and sacrifice or he breathed fire from both nostrils. He ruled his home with an iron fist and he was feared more than respected, avoided not loved. For 33 straight years, his wife put up with his excesses. His children watched their mother endure her marriage. She wore a smile that eventually became a grimace but she soldiered on. Nobody was going to raise her children while she still had breath. She cried herself to sleep most nights, most of those nights were lonely ones anyway but she stayed the course. She bore it for her children.

Now at 59, she’s in Canada on her first ‘omugwo’ journey ( omugwo in Igbo or ojojo omo in Yoruba are terms for traditional after-birth care of new borns) to take care of her first grandchild. There were grunts and whispers about how she left ‘Daddy’ alone to fend for himself while she enjoyed all the fruits of the labour of the old man. But her version of the story revealed that ‘Daddy and Mummy’ stopped being a real couple a long time ago.

 ‘When our twins arrived, he said I had to quit my job so I could take care of them. They were a handful, so it was not difficult for me to agree. But even when they started school, he refused to let me go back to work. He had a repertoire of reasons why I could not or should not hold a nine-to-five job. I wouldn’t have minded but I eventually concluded that my husband simply wanted me to be dependent on him for every penny I needed. I needed his permission to use the car because he had to fuel it. I had to agree to his choice of school for the children because he was paying the fees. We rented apartments that suited him and eventually built our house in a rural area. I had no say in anything. I was unhappy for years. I did not want to raise my children without their father, so I stayed in there, sick both physically and emotionally. My husband lived a full life while I lived like a glorified maid. He travelled within and outside the country on business but I never left Nigeria until I became a grandmother. My son, Kehinde hauled me off to Canada. I was there for six straight months until the family doctor blackmailed me with my husband’s health, saying it could would worsen if he continued to eat junk food and stare at the wall and ceiling all day. I must confess that I didn’t miss him and totally enjoyed being away from under his thumb and bullying for those six months. I’m already looking forward to accompanying Taiwo’s wife to the US to have her baby. If I was fine with Daddy’s way of doing things for 33 years, he will be fine with me doing my grandma duties ’

Molayo’s abuse was physical. Her husband beat her regularly, even in front the children, sometimes with neighbours as spectators.

‘I thought the abuse would stop as we grew older but it didn’t and each time the children tried to defend me or correct him, he would threaten to lay a curse on them. I warned them to stay off his path of anger. After beating me, my children and I would go into my room and cry together as they massaged my arm or put cold compress on my swollen jaw. He would deny me of housekeeping allowance if I crossed him or refuse to talk to me for days for not waiting up for him if he got home late. And he kept many late nights, slept out many nights too. If I dared to ask him questions about his whereabouts, he either beat me or gave me the silent treatment. My marriage was harsh and hard. It also took a toll on my health eventually, for which my children blame their father. I made sure they never disrespected their father for as long as I could. But the day my first daughter gave birth was the day they moved me to her house. It was the perfect excuse to rescue me. I returned home after three months for about two weeks and I’m back in my daughter’s place. My medications are more effective now that I sleep better and nobody is bullying me.’

The seed for this piece was actually planted in August 2022. It was at a party and I found myself at the same table with four gentlemen who were worried at the rate at which wives were ‘abandoning’ their husbands to go and do grandma duties. They are all in their 50s and fairly comfortable financially.

‘It is becoming a fad. These women just wait for you to pay the hefty school fees in dollars and then they disappear for months to do that omugwo thing.’

‘Yeah, and you have to learn to eat fast food.’

‘And sleep alone.’

‘Maybe we should get new wives to bridge the gap.’

‘Nice idea, my guy. A young girl to warm you up on rainy nights when madam abandons you,’

Men, why do they think all problems can be solved by newer models and fuller bosoms?

I did my best to explain the logic of laying your bed the way you want it to feel when you lie on it.

You see, not all wives disappear for omugwo without a backward glance. Not all wives make irreversible transition from wives to grandmothers. Some women, and I know quite a few, just want to be wives and remain wives of their husbands all the days of their lives. They do not know how to be anything else. These are women who will be lost without their husbands. Their husbands are their lives because they are men loving and devoted. Yes, they feel blessed and privileged to live long enough to transit from wives to mothers and then grandmothers but this set of women never forget they started as wives, that the vows they took before God, men and tradition was as wives, before all other functions. I also admit that this group of wives are fast fading. But they are still here.

Now, don’t you go jumping to conclusions that those forever wives are obeying the Bible or the Koran. No, they are just responding to their environment, to their marriages. They are just providing the second palm with which to effect a clap.

I have friends, peers who will go and do their omugwo and be back in a jiffy. One month tops and they are back in the arms of their husbands. I also have friends who are just waiting for their first grandchildren to ‘pop’ and they will, like bat out of hell, disappear, relocate for at least six months. There it is, omugwo for many women is a legit escape from marriages and men they had been wanting to escape from for years. Omugwo is like a release, albeit a temporary one from the men they did not have the courage to leave for years. The situation is even made worse if the children see the arrival of their babies as opportunities ‘to free mummy from daddy for a while.’

My dear brothers, how are you preparing for your old age, those twilight years when the only real faithful friends you’d be able to rely on are your wives and children? Are you your wife’s friend or albatross? Do your children see their mother as your wife and partner or a slave to be rescued as soon as they can muster the requisite fund? Are you living as if there is no tomorrow? Your wife of 35 years should not feel and flee like a free bird just because you both have become grandparents. If she has been in London for the past five months, leaving your 72-year-old ass, pardon my French, in the care of a maid and gateman, you were not a good man. Period. If at 75, your children feel it is time to bail their mother out of your cell, who can you blame? A man who mismanaged his yesterday will pay the price tomorrow.

Programme: City Talks with Reuben Abati

Time: 12:00

Guest: Adedeji Oyenuga

Professor of Criminology LASU

Topic: Insecurity in Nigeria: A Nation Under Siege ? 

Date: April 19th, 2025

Join Zoom Meeting

https://zoom.us/j/92877141732?pwd=VEJWb29OL2VVekZUTHRpdWYxK0xxZz09

Meeting ID: 928 7714 1732

Passcode: 600206

In light of the viral video circulating the social media and news, showing some of our delegates interacting with some Nigerian Mobile Police officers (MOPOL) in Kaduna. We ’d like to take a moment to address the issue amicably.

The way and manner the video has been shared and interpreted has led to some serious misunderstandings. So, we want to be very clear:

No money was given to the officers on any demand or request, there was no bribe, no illegal exchange but on good faith appreciating their professionalism. What you see in the video was a friendly and open interaction — nothing was done in secret and nothing inappropriate happened.

It's a common Chinese tradition, where we come from, to show appreciation or kindness to people who are doing their jobs well — especially when they’ve been helpful or respectful. That was all what it was: a kind gesture, not a payoff or alleged bribe. 

We also want to say this very sincerely — we are sorry about how this played out.

If that moment was misunderstood or if it gave the wrong impression, we take full responsibility. That was never our intention.

The officers were professional throughout. They never asked for anything, and they certainly didn’t act in any improper way with us. We were only moved to appreciate them on how well they carried out their responsibilities and their reception.

Despite this experience, we remain committed to Nigeria.

This country has great potential, and we will continue encouraging more Chinese investors to come here — to build, to partner, and to contribute in positive ways.

We also want to encourage other investors like ourselves to take time to learn about Nigeria, its culture, its people, and how things work locally. Respect and understanding go a long way and there is beauty in diversity. We are from different continent,our ways are bound to be different but learning each other culture will go a long way in fostering a good relationship.

Thank you to everyone who reached out with concern or support. Let’s move forward with clearer understanding and mutual respect, while appealing that the good Nigerian people and government should tamper justice with mercy with this incident.

We humbly request for continued security operatives for the smooth sailing of our operations here in Nigeria as well as safety purposes.

We feel secured and at home with them around. Our sincere apologies once again.

– A Chinese National Featured in the Video

Several persons have lost their lives in another terrible accident that occurred on Karu Bridge, inward Karu Site, Abuja on Friday.

DAILY POST reporter, who witnessed the tragic incident, observed that it was caused by a truck laden with cement which failed its brakes while descending the Kugbo hill.

It was gathered that the truck, after crushing about several vehicles and their occupants, attempted to escape but was intercepted around Karu Roundabout by commercial motorcyclists.

The accident came barely a month after a similar fatal accident occurred on the same Karu Bridge in March, when a Dangote trailer powered by CNG lost its brakes, crashed into several vehicles and claimed multiple lives.

More details to follow…

Katsina State Governor, Dikko Radda on Friday approved the appointment of the State Deputy Governor, Faruk Jobe as the head of the delegation, the Amiru – al-Hajj, 2025.

Other members include the Speaker, State House of Assembly, Nasiru Yahaya, Commissioner for Religious Affairs, Ishaq Dabai, Alhaji Shafi’u Duwan, Shehu Daura and Justice Kofar-Bai.

Others are, Alhaji Lawal Bakori, Sheikh Aminu Usman, Sheikh Naziru Kofar-Baru, Barrister Umar Abubakar and Alhaji Aliyu Hussaini while the Governor’s office is to provide the secretary.

The appointment letters were signed by the Secretary to the Government of the State, Abdullahi Faskari and made available to newsmen on Friday spelt out the terms of reference for the state delegation to monitor and supervise all operational activities both at home and in the Holy Land so as to ensure a successful Hajj.

“The delegation was to also ensure the safety, welfare and wellbeing of the State intending pilgrims while in Nigeria and in Saudi Arabia.

“Other terms of reference included ensuring a hitch-free airlift and return journey of all the State pilgrims and performing any other functions as are necessary for the success of the exercise.

“The Hajj delegation is expected to submit a comprehensive report to the Governor on completion of the Hajj exercise”, the statement by the Chief Press Secretary to the SSG, Abdullahi Yar’adua said.

The press statement further disclosed that the delegation would soon be inaugurated by Radda.

Meanwhile, Radda wished the delegation, the State Pilgrims Welfare Board and the intending pilgrims Allah’s guidance throughout the Hajj operations.

[Punch]

Here comes another Good Friday and Easter. Familiar stories of the torment, death, burial and resurrection of Jesus the Christ. Stubborn facts that have refused to lose their meaning, relevance and efficacy more than two millennia since the events occurred. Soon after Jesus defeated the powers of the grave, the heavy stone used to hedge him in and the soldiers on guard, the authorities became jittery about the outcomes of those unprecedented episodes, notably his rise. Everything was done to twist the narrative. Even today, attempts to either trivialise or deny it altogether haven’t stopped. Luckily, history remains a witness to the potency of that epic moment; a collector of an abiding illustration of the eternal triumph of good over evil.

Commemorating those distinctive happenings in Jerusalem, therefore, goes beyond the surface. People, particularly believers in Christ, do utilise this moment to revitalise their inner strength – a vital asset that can’t be taken for granted in these troubling times. For most Nigerians, life has not been the same especially since President Bola Tinubu announced the removal of petrol subsidy at his presidential inauguration nearly two years ago and followed it up with the floating of the currency. Those punches have knocked down majority of the people and the main things they’ve received in abundance are excuses, explanations and more excuses from the president and his lieutenants.

There is hardly any aspect of the nation’s essential social and economic indices and their accompanying figures that compares favourably with what had obtained under the previous administration(s). This becomes even more painful when weighed against the equally tough adversities experienced under President Muhammadu Buhari. The prospect of looking back at that period with nostalgia the way some people do now was unthinkable. But here we are.

President Tinubu has been a better public communicator than his predecessor, though. But months of continual pledging and exhortations to Nigerians to make the “necessary sacrifices” haven’t achieved real-time healing and any genuine hope for tomorrow. “I know how you feel”, a refrain in most of his speeches, hasn’t also succeeded in producing the desired atmosphere of empathy. I recommend that the statement be dropped from his future outings as it’s beginning to appear fake. One can actually argue that Tinubu can’t seriously understand the depth into which most of his fellow citizens have sunk. Living, for most of them, is now more traumatic than members of the ruling elite can contemplate. If they do, there’s virtually nothing to show that they care about the fate of their disadvantaged compatriots.

The fortunate and “hardworking” could easily dismiss this gloomy picture as extreme but the victims of the vicissitudes which test the very souls of men and women to their limits know the true current colour of survival. Hyper-inflation, a grossly diminished naira, scarce jobs, real concerns about multifaceted insecurity, growing loss of faith in the system, a political class that’s unwilling or incapable of exhibiting exemplary leadership, and a steady diminution of hope for tomorrow have all ganged up against the usually robust Nigerian spirit. But as I often readily concede, these negative energies are neither creations of this government nor originated by Buhari’s. Why our leaders are unable to translate their much-touted good intentions to practicable policies, programmes and projects for the benefit of all, however, further deepens the exasperation of the long-suffering masses.

The cross our nation has had to bear over time is opposition parties that are high on rhetoric only to mellow into underperformance and ineptitude as soon as they assume power. It’s easy to advise the citizenry to look inwards and not expect the government to do everything for them. I’m still searching for the list of the things governments at various levels do for the people. The country is saddled with an overburdened populace. Some have become emergency philosophers, others have succumbed to sinister forces like depression, and many have resigned to an uncertain fate. But how long will it take before the few surviving or thriving ones are overwhelmed by primary and collateral responsibilities?

Naturally, people are compelled to embrace some sort of soul-searching one way or the other in times of chaos and ennui. What better means than seeking solace or solutions from loftier heights. For Christians, these most significant days present an opportunity to look upwards too. My piece on this page during the holy week in 2022 titled, “Maximising This Passion Week”, validates the aphorism that the more things change, the more they remain the same.

It reads in part: “Jesus of Nazareth. The uniqueness of his person is, without doubt, superlative and incomparable. His public service lasted for just about three years, something that started at the age of 30. His only record of writing was when an angry mob brought a woman caught in adultery to him, threatening to stone her to death in fulfilment of the Law of Moses. He wrote on sand at a point but even the content was never captured. Yet, as many scholars have argued, Jesus has inspired more writings than any other person. And, what is more elevating than having a number of the world’s religions speak, usually reverentially, about one particular man in their own sacred books?”

He is in heaven now, according to the Bible. That effectively changed his physical address and placed him on a much higher pedestal. His immediate followers? We can, at least, identify with those men whose earthly sojourns were mostly truncated abruptly and brutally. The article continues: “As soon as he (Jesus) was arrested, the men he had worked and closely interacted with took off for the love of their own lives. That act of abandonment initially encouraged the Roman authorities and religious leaders to attempt to influence them into denying the authenticity of the resurrection of their master.

“In a turn of events and with the passage of time, however, the same disciples rediscovered their courage and voices and stood firm for what they believed, against the intimidating odds that were rapidly cropping up mainly from the political and religious hierarchies. A deep reflection on the lives, activities and end of those men, long after Jesus had departed, could set us, Nigerians, on the path of true loyalty to causes that have extra-mundane, more enduring values. Life, after all, has much more to do with convictions about ideals and the common good. The lead apostle, Peter, for instance, begged his tormentors who were about to crucify him to do so upside down since, he reasoned, he was not qualified to die in the same position as his boss.” That bravery in the face of danger was replicated by the rest disciples – human beings like us who refused to bend to the wiles and coercion of their persecutors. They demonstrated till they exited the planet that bliss wasn’t always sensuous.

They were probably preserved by the words of their lord who once told them that, “Except a corn of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it abides alone; but if it dies, it brings forth much fruit. He who loves his life shall lose it; and he who hates his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.” Meaning, there’s no circumventing the path to lasting fulfilment and rewards.

So, pain as a prerequisite for gain is one truism that Nigerians must keep in view. Not as an empty admonition by politicians but an indispensable tool for resilience which usually pays off. A reliable armour against these testy times. An assurance against the external pressures that seek to strangle the divine drive within. And the staying ability to persevere against diverse hurdles while awaiting fruition.

Ekpe, PhD, is a member of THISDAY editorial board.

Approval rating is of pivotal importance in the re-election of an incumbent. Governor Chukwuma Charles Soludo, CFR, is enjoying an unprecedented universal approval rating as per the coming Anambra State gubernatorial election, billed for November 8, 2025. Soludo’s stellar scorecard puts him out of sight ahead of any intending contender as the vote of confidence of Ndi Anambra across the globe has guaranteed.

The crème de la crème of Ndi Anambra within and outside the state have been reviewing the scorecard of Governor Soludo and have unanimously returned a resounding vote of confidence. It’s indeed remarkable that the principal figures in the opposition parties are not left out in the endorsement of the re-election of Governor Soludo. A typical example is the former Governor of Anambra State, former Senator and former Minister, Dr. Chris Nwabueze Ngige, who, in our local parlance, told Governor Soludo at the Abuja town-hall meeting: “Carry go!”

Dr. Ngige revealed that he had been begged by the remaining minuscule number of APC faithful in Anambra State not to endorse Governor Soludo. The irrepressible Dr. Ngige addressed Governor Soludo pointedly at the Abuja town-hall meeting by saying that he had gone to Anambra to see things for himself, thusly: “I came. I saw. But I did not conquer. I confirmed. Odenigbo, carry go!”

Before the Lagos and Abuja town-hall meetings where Governor Soludo went to present his scorecard to his people, pending the London town-hall meeting as well, there was an avalanche of endorsements by a wide range of organisations, from students, youths and scores of support groups.

This is beyond politics, as even students were among groups contributing money to persuade Governor Soludo to purchase the nomination form and contest the November election. The progressive governor, in tandem with the people’s will, graciously accepted to run, given the vote of confidence pouring in from all sides. It’s not in the constitution of Mr. Governor not to answer the call of the people.

The Lagos town-hall meeting came a day after the esteemed Vanguard Newspaper honoured Governor Soludo as the Vanguard Governor of the Year for Good Governance. The Lagos town-hall was a bang as the Habour Point Marquee Event Centre that got filled kept erupting intermittently with rapturous applauses as the gathered personages watched the 30-minute documentary. There was further uplifting exultation as Soludo took to the stage to talk about his stewardship in the last three years.

The following day, Sunday, the tireless Governor Soludo, who had been nicknamed “Ọlụatụegwu”, to wit, “One who is not afraid of duty”, was in Abuja, at the Bolton White Event Centre, for the Abuja version. Like in Lagos, Abuja was equally well-attended by Ndi Anambra who-is-who resident in the federal capital city. At the end of it all, the outcome matched that of Lagos, if not surpassing it, especially with the crowning glory of the endorsements of even opposition figures, including APC chieftains.

I recall a female commissioner asking us to rate the Lagos and Abuja town halls and determine which was greater. It was quite a difficult task as most of us could not agree. Both were epochal indeed, but differing in their uniqueness: Lagos town hall was massively attended by the business class and captains of industry, while Abuja town hall was mainly attended by the political class.

With Abuja and Lagos adding their voices to the endorsement galore – and that of the UK positively loading – Governor Soludo’s re-election is quite certain. It can be safely deduced that there is no coherent and viable opposition for Governor Soludo in Anambra State, as had been earlier stated by the Minister of Works, Engr. David Umahi, who, like Dr. Ngige, is a prominent APC leader.

Ndi Anambra at home and abroad are telling the opposition candidates seeking to take over the government in Anambra to tarry till 2029. With their resounding vote of confidence in the performing Solution Government of Governor Soludo, Anambra people have handed a fresh mandate in advance, to be validated on November 8.

The vote of confidence from home and abroad is a clear way of saying again and again: there is no vacancy in Awka Government House. However, there is still history to be made in this November 8 guber election if the feeble contenders and pretenders step down for Soludo to run unopposed.

Governor Soludo grandly deserves his occupation of Obi-Ndi-Anambra, the Government House and Lodge he built to break a 34-year-old jinx. So, if the guber runners decide to go the whole hog with Prof Soludo, the performing governor should also go the entire length: win in the 5700 polling units, 326 wards and in the entire 21 local governments. It is within reach.

A word, they say, is enough for the wise, for as the Americans say, if it is not broken, why mend it?

Law Mefor, PhD, is the Anambra state commissioner for information.

Osita Okechukwu, a chieftain of the All Progressives Congress (APC) and former director-general of the Voice of Nigeria, has refuted claims that the Congress for Progressives Change (CPC) bloc within the party intends to defect ahead of the 2027 elections.

Speaking on ‘The Morning Show ‘ on Arise TV, Okechukwu emphasised that the CPC bloc remains committed to supporting President Bola Tinubu’s second term bid.

The CPC, originally a political party formed in 2009 by former President Muhammadu Buhari, played a key role in the merger that birthed the APC, ending the 16-year rule of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) in 2015.

“We got the rumour that the CPC bloc of the APC is leaving the APC. So we said no; that our resolution,  after the meeting we held, was that we have no need to leave the house, the APC.

“We toiled from 2004, after losing the 2003 presidential election, 2007, 2011, that germinated on 2013. That we cannot destroy the house we built.

“There was a merger that brought all tendencies in the country, all religion, all tribes into one umbrella tree; that we cannot destroy that.”

Okechukwu said Tinubu played a vital role in bringing the merger to fruition and deserved their loyalty.

“We said we cannot, in all good conscience and honesty, forget the critical role President Bola Ahmed Tinubu GCFR played in getting the merger to fruition,” he said.

“He was one of the leaders that held a meeting with Buhari and told Buhari that ‘you are going to be the president. We are going to support you. You have 12 million vote bank, mostly from the northern part of the country. We are going to bring the supplement’.

“And immediately he said so, we resumed the last talks of February 2013 in the residence of Chief Tom Ikimi.”

Okechukwu said Tinubu’s role was instrumental during the tense APC presidential primary in 2014.

“And it was Asiwaju Bola Tinubu that gathered all the southern support base that gave Buhari victory at the presidential primaries, because that was a tense atmosphere,” he added.

“There were about five or six candidates — President Buhari, His Excellency Rabiu Kwankwaso, His Excellency Abubakar Atiku, Rochas Okorocha, Late Sam Nda-Isaiah.

“We said, when they split the votes of the north, what will happen? Asiwaju reassured us that his own delegation, spanning from Delta to the main southwest, that they are guaranteed. And that was fulfilled.”

Okechukwu said Tinubu remained supportive of Buhari throughout his presidency and deserves the same now.

He said the CPC bloc has created a mobilisation committee to reach Tinubu directly and communicate their concerns.

[TheCable]